skip to main |
skip to sidebar
It's nearly 10pm as I write this... just two hours left in this year. I can't complain. It's been a very good year. We've stayed busy and had lots of fun. My only regret for this evening is that I will not be ringing in the new year with my family. Alas, I am relegated to work duty in the hospital tonight. It's just one of the "joys" of being a nurse and having to pull weekend and holiday duty. Oh well... it pays the bills right? Mike has taken off with the boys to pick up AJ and meet up with Roy. They are going on a ferry ride to Bainbridge island tonight to watch the fireworks from that side of the water. Someday I'll go along! Well, I'm off to work... I'm taking a couple of bottles of sparkling cider with me so that if we have a moment at the strike of midnight, we can maybe have a little bubbly and ring in the new year. So long 2008.... I look forward with great anticipation to 2009. 2009 brings with it Ethan's 7th birthday, my 10th wedding anniversary, my 20-year high school reunion, Evan's 6th birthday, and my brother's graduation from the Honolulu Police Academy. Lots to be thankful for! Happy New Year!!!!
So we didn't get to the gingerbread house before Christmas. But better late than never right? It was actually a welcome project for the boys this afternoon. We sure had lots of fun putting it together! Admittedly, we didn't make the gingerbread ourselves. I tried that one year and was so disappointed with how my pieces turned out that I didn't want to waste the ingredients again this year. If any of our readers out there have a tried and true recipe, please share! Instead, we went with the Trader Joe's special. Hey... I felt good making it... it was authentic made-in-Germany gingerbread! Hee hee hee...
And since I am the queen of tangents... call me crazy, behind-the-times, or whatever else you can think of, but I had NO IDEA just how easy it is to make icing "glue"!!! This was just powdered sugar (or icing sugar for you Canadians and Europeans), beaten egg white, and a few drops of vinegar! I have to say I was very skeptical about how well this concoction would actually work as glue. Boy was I in for a big surprise. Not only did it work WELL, but it worked FAST. Now my mind is conjuring up all the fun little forts and other things we can make out of cheap graham crackers. My head is swimming with possibilities. Plus, my friend Krista has me wanting to make PVC marshmallow shooters with the boys as well! Oh... where to begin!? I smell some fun coming...
In the meantime, here are some pictures of our lovely creation!
I've been trying to find audio scriptures for my iPod. Granted, I haven't looked for awhile. When I looked in the past, I only found the written scriptures, so those have been loaded on my iPod since I first got it. I was at Beehive Books sometime ago and saw the CDs but they are quite pricey. Well, today is my lucky day. I had no idea that the Church HAS THEM right on their website in MP3 format!!! They are free and legally available for downloading! YIPPEEEE!!! So I just finished downloading 1Nephi and will download the rest tomorrow (it takes awhile!) Now I can listen to the scriptures peacefully in bed at night when it's quiet!
Incidentally hymns, church magazines, conference and other materials are also available there in MP3 format!
I was perusing Aunt Barbara's blog today and felt inspired to get my tush in gear and get my own blog updated. As the year comes to a close, there are still a few things that need to be recorded!
~~Evan is in the running with Ethan for number of lost teeth! The interesting thing about having children 17 moths apart is that they lose teeth at the same time! The tooth fairy has been busy at our house!
~~Thanksgiving... We had a very quiet and pleasant Thanksgiving. We went to Mike's parent's house. For the first time in... um... forever I think... I didn't cook a THING! Typically, even if we go over there, I still make a meal for us here at home. I didn't this year and actually, it was kind of nice. In all fairness, I had planned on cooking a small turkey, but when Mike opened it up, it was most definitely rotten! Truth be told, I can't really say my feelings were hurt! I did have to work that night, but not until 11pm. We still have another turkey in the freezer for another time. We also have two hams saved up!
~~Work... speaking of work... The end of November and the beginning of December was a very, very sad time for me at work. We had 3 infant deaths in the course of ONE WEEK. UGH... it was very, very heart wrenching. I happened to be on duty as the nursery nurse for two of them. Truly, it makes your own stresses and problems look like a cake walk when you see parents grieve like this. With one of the deaths, the mother looked at me and asked, "How am I supposed to go home and tell my other children?" I'll write a separate entry about that.
~~Christmas Tree... We went out to our usual place for a Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. We always get our tree out at the Bowman Hilton farm, right on the Sumner/Orting border. They have the best trees and great prices. There will be a separate entry with pictures for that.
~~SNOW! And lots of it! Again... a separate entry with pictures!
~~Christmas. Believe it or not, I didn't even get out the camera. I just simply didn't feel like taking pictures. I think Mike got a couple. I'll have to upload his later on.
Now we are just counting down... only two days left of 2008. Is it just me or has the year gone by in record time????
EDITED 12/30/08: All of the above mentioned entries have now been written and back dated. See below!!
Yesterday was a special day for our family. I had to work all night Friday night, but when I got home Saturday morning, we quickly changed clothes and then headed up to Everett for a special baptism. We were honored to be able to attend Alison Smith's baptism. The spirit was so strong there and it was a special experience for us to be there. Alison was simply radiant and happy and the light of Christ shone brightly in her eyes. There was no doubt that she was in tuned with the spirit. What a honor to be there!
When we got done there, we drove home (I slept most of the way, exhausted from a long night at work) and changed clothes. Then we headed down to Port Orchard to Mary & Jay's house. When we got there, I crashed on Mary's bed for a few hours and then we all left and went out to dinner together. After dinner, we headed over to their stake center for a special nativity exhibit. The gym had been transformed into a sea of nativity scenes. There were literally hundreds of them from all corners of the earth and in a myriad of styles. They were made of all sorts of materials... wood, glass, ceramic, paper, coconut husk, yarn, clay, fabric and many other things. They were set up so beautifully and there were humble and gorgeous Christmas decorations and white lights everywhere. I don't think I've ever felt the spirit so strongly at a Christmas event. I was moved to tears several times. There were activities for the children and the choir sand Christmas carols in the chapel. So beautiful and gorgeous. Thanks Mary for inviting us... we had such a wonderful time!
There were two neonatal deaths this week at work. The first was expected. The second absolutely was not. My heart has been SO heavy. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for these sweet babies and I am not sad for them. I am sad for their parents. Because although we can find peace in the plan of salvation, it does not erase the natural grief. I was the nursery nurse in the birth center for both of these babies.
The first one was an infant who was just 23 weeks gestation. It was not her parents' first loss. This mother's water had ruptured about a week previously and we were all surprised that the baby lasted as long as she did. She must have formed a seal over the hole and began retaining fluid again. Anyway... it was an excruciatingly sad moment to be present in that room as this sweet little girl came into the world. She came out wiggling a bit and trying to breathe somewhat. Because of her size and gestational age, we did not try to help her out or resuscitate her. She lived for about 20 minutes before giving up. I bonded with her father, who spoke no English at all. Words were not needed.
I was able to get hand and footprints of the baby. They were so tiny. Her little feet were only about an inch long, maybe shorter. The heart wrenching moment came when her father pulled a photograph out of his wallet. It was a photo of himself and his wife. He did not speak English but gestured to me that he wanted me to lay the photo next to the baby and take a photograph of the three of them. You see, the baby's mother did not want to see her at all. All of this was done in the nursery. So I laid the picture of the beautiful couple next to the tiny baby and took a picture for him. That would be the only picture he would ever have of the three of them together.
The second situation was even more tragic than the first. The mother came in, full term and in a massive amount of pain. She had other children and kept saying it hurt so much worse than her other babies. She looked like she was ready to push so I quickly set up a warmer for the baby and my heart just sank when the labor nurse couldn't find the heartbeat. Mind you, just because a nurse can't find a heartbeat doesn't always mean it is absent. Often the baby gets so far into the birth canal that it's difficult to pick up. But my heart knew. Even as I was setting up that warmer and she continued to search, in my mind I was already saying, "Just stop. You're not going to find it." The spirit was amazingly present in that room.
We had the doc come in with the portable ultrasound machine and she confirmed this mother's worst nightmare. Her baby was dead. Though she was several doors down from the nurses station, there was no mistaking the wailing and crying that was coming from that room. It's a sound that rips your heart out and leaves a huge, gaping hole in its place. All you can do is stand there and think of your own babies at home. And although I knew that Heavenly Father had a plan for that baby, I still couldn't help but stand there and ask, "Why?" as this mother continued to wail.
Later on in the morning, I had the utmost honor of helping her to make memories of her little boy. When I walked into her room, he was wrapped up next to her and she had her face buried in the top of his head, just sobbing into his hair. She was clutching him with everything she had in her. I lost it. Right there... I sobbed with her. How can you not? I gently told her that there was no rush but that when she was ready, we could weigh him and measure him. She said she was ready. So I took him out of her arms and just looked at him for a moment. He was perfect. Truly. He was a perfect, perfect little boy. Just gorgeous. He simply looked as though he was sleeping. The only giveaway was the color of his lips... a deep, cherry red... very dark... that is what happens to the lips of babies after they die. He was so beautiful and so perfect and in my mind I was almost trying to will him to just open his eyes and take a breath. Live! Just live and breathe! But alas that was not the plan for his short life.
I weighed him and measured him in the room with his mother, father, and aunt present. A perfect 7 pound baby. Have I mentioned that he was perfect? SIGH... We took him to the nursery to bathe him in the deep tub. I had the honor of giving this little boy a bath. I placed him on the warmer and unwrapped him. We got some hand and footprints before the bath and again, they were perfect. Often it is difficult to get hand prints because infants naturally clutch their fists closed. But his mother begged for hand prints and it seems her son knew how much she needed them because his hands were so relaxed and we got absolutely flawless prints. Then I placed him in a warm bath and we washed his beautiful little body. Again, he just looked as though he was asleep. We dried him and then cut a lock of his hair near the back of his neck for his mother to keep. Then his father put a diaper on him and we dressed him in a lovely, white outfit. They chose a hat for him and then we wrapped him up in beautiful blankets.
I talked with his parents for a long time. We talked about their shattered plans. We talked about Christmas. We talked about the other children and she sort of laughed and asked me, "How am I supposed to go home and tell the other kids their brother is not coming home? They don't know yet. Do you want to tell them?" She was kidding of course. I can't imagine having to deliver that kind of news. I just can't imagine.
Later before I left for the morning, I went back into their room and asked if I could hold him once more. I sort of felt selfish asking. I knew their time with him was so limited and precious. But she was happy to oblige. I held him for about 20 minutes as I talked with them. By that time, we were able to laugh a bit and the room felt lighter. But that little boy's spirit was ALL around us in that room. He was VERY present and I could feel him almost tangibly. I held him in the crook of my arm and held one of his hands in mine. His skin was like velvet. I could tell he was an amazing spirit. I was in awe of him and I was so honored to be in his presence. As sad as that experience was, I was glad I walked down that fiery path with those parents. It's one of those things that is SO hard to do and yet helps us grow in ways untold. I am forever changed because of it.
Happy Birthday Baby L. I hope I am worthy enough to be in your presence again someday!
