Another month gone

Well, another month has come and gone since I updated here. I look at the last set of autumn pictures I posted and I can hardly believe that much time has elapsed. Then again, I've been really busy so maybe it shouldn't surprise me. I started a new job this past month (well, technically in September, but my main orientation began in October). I'm having a REALLY hard time with it right now. I don't have any regrets because I felt that I was supposed to apply for that job. It felt right and everything fell into place so nicely. I have had major hurdles ever since I started.

I took the job for two reasons... 1) To help ease our debt and 2) Because it was a level II nursery position and I miss working with my premature babies. It's a per diem job that only requires four shifts a month. No biggie right? Wrong...

The corporate orientation actually went well. I was very impressed with MultiCare as an organization and continued to feel that it was the right thing. The only thing that made me blink once or twice was when the hospital director came in and said that everyone needed to have a seasonal flu shot or else they'd have to wear a mask on the units at all times. I was a little miffed by that because quite honestly I might have changed my mind about the job. I am not willing to get the flu vaccine. At the same time, do you have any idea how hard it is to wear a mask for 8 hours straight? I do good for about the length of a c-section, but after that it gets a little claustrophobic. Oh well. I would have to do it.

The next hurdle came when I finished corporate orientation and emailed the manager to see what the next step was. She said to give her my availability and to "try and work as close to full time as possible during orientation." Wow... that was frustrating. I had no idea I'd have to work SO many hours for a job that required only four shifts a month from me. I guess I'd have to do. So I gave her my availability and asked her to please schedule them as 8-hour nights and not 12-hour nights. The final blow came after that correspondence. She wrote me back a one-liner that said, "I usually have people on the day shift for orientation. Count on several weeks of day shift orientation." At that, I broke down and cried. How on earth was I supposed to do that? How could I work full time days there and 12-hour nights at St. Francis?

So I didn't respond for two days. I took two days to just be upset and cry and then I wrote her back and explained that I thought we'd had a miscommunication because I could neither work full time nor day shift. She asked me to come in and speak with her, saying that she thought we could work something out. So I went in... I drove to Puyallup, parked on the fair grounds, took a shuttle up to her office and did all of that for a face-to-face of exactly 20 minutes where she said, "I need you to pick some days off this calendar." I wanted to cry right there.

Now let me pause here to add this... I'm a very self assured person and would normally have said, "I can't do that." I don't know why I didn't. Maybe it was because I had already invested so much. Maybe it was because I was weak. Maybe the Spirit told me not to. But I didn't. I gave her some days... NINE of them spread over THREE WEEKS. And even then, she said it might not be enough.

Let me tell you, it was some of the hardest three weeks ever. I don't know how to explain it. First of all, because the manager and I got off to a rough start, I really get the feeling that she doesn't care for me. This is new for me. Not to toot my own horn, but I've always been well liked by any manager I've ever worked for. This is a different experience.

Next, I am opposed to their vaccination policy. I don't believe in forced vaccination. I am willing to wear the mask. But I don't think that went over well with her. She wants across-the-board compliance in her birth center. But corporate policy gives me the right to opt for the mask. It's not like I'm bending or breaking any rules. I'm taking one of the two choices the organization has said are mine to choose from. But apparently that's not the choice that she wanted me to make.

The orientation itself has been hot and cold. In the nursery I've enjoyed most of the nurses I've worked with. I've enjoyed the patient care. The babies and families are wonderful. When I oriented with the receiver on the day shift, I had mixed feelings. I have ethical issues with how things are done but I kept my thoughts to myself and went with the flow.

I FINALLY finished my three weeks on days and worked my tail off and got her to sign off that I could move to the night shift. I wrote and gave her my availability. She got back to me and said, "Okay, I'll put you on for all those days and please plan on bringing your Seasonal and H1N1 vaccine information." WHAT THE HECK? Did she forget? No... I could be dead wrong but I don't think she forgot... not for one moment. I think she's playing hard now. I simply wrote her back and asked if it was mandatory, saying that I thought I had the option of wearing a mask. She has yet (of course) to get back to me. Of course it's Friday now so I won't hear from her until next week, if at all.

At this point I am ready to walk away from this job and I feel totally okay doing so. If she tells me the vaccine is mandatory, I will say goodbye and not even think twice about it. It's not worth it to me to inject myself with chemicals that I don't believe in (which could have LONG lasting effects) for this part time job. My other job does not require it.

SO that's been my life this past month. My sister-in-law Rebekah has been wonderful. She has lived with us, on and off, for those three weeks and has helped get my kids off to school and picked up. I am so grateful.

I start the night shift next week (unless I'm asked to leave over the vaccinations) and so once again it will be work, work, work for awhile until I'm done orienting. I'm hoping to be done by the first week in December. I am relieved that it will be at night, however.

Right now I'm sick with a cold and almost-flu. I have been drowning myself in vitamin D and it's helping a lot. Evan has had a cold. And Ethan woke up this morning complaining of a sore throat, sore back, and "I just don't feel good". So he stayed home today. I stayed home from work tonight because I'm not well enough yet.

Sometimes it all feels so overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I can't even do the basics. It takes everything just to wash dishes or get the laundry washed (notice I didn't say folded or put away), especially when it all gets messed up again within seconds.

Anyway... this was not meant to be a "Woe is me" post. When I'm feeling down this always helps:

OKay... now that I've recapped my month at work, I'll write a separate post about everything else!