Farewell Baby M

As I've mentioned in previous entries, I sometimes have to deal with miscarriage in my work in the birth center. For some unknown reason, I bond with these families in different ways - some closer than others. Sunday night (well, more like Monday morning), we were faced with this sadness in our birth center. A young mother came in, pregnant with her first child. She was just 20 weeks gestation (which is half the length of a normal pregnancy). And she miscarried this baby very shortly after her arrival. I arrived in the room with a hat and blanket for the baby. His mother was holding his sweet little body and I offered to wrap him in a hat and blanket to make his passing comfortable. After wrapping him, I handed him back to her. She just sobbed and then turned away from him and put her hand up and said, "Just go." I asked if she wanted me to leave the baby in the room or take him out and she replied, "Take him out."

So I left the room with sweet baby M. He was still alive. So I went and sat in our nurses station and quietly held him and cried until he stopped moving. His body was so warm and sweet. I typically don't hold these infants until they have cooled off considerably, but he was still alive when I brought him out. I could feel the light of heaven as I sat there, holding him until his passing. I felt so unbelievably close to heaven. I shed several tears as I sat with him. Later, I was able to weigh him (roughly a half pound) and take photographs of him for his mother. She did ask to have him back later on.

Again... I feel so incredibly privileged to be a part of this work. I am amazingly blessed to be able to interact with families at this most difficult time in their lives.