Monday, January 4, 2010

Why are people passive aggressive?

I hate passive aggression. If you want to say something, then come out and say it. I hate people who try to use power and aggression to skirt the issues at hand. It's ridiculous. And the further I get in life, the more vocal I am becoming about it. I am starting to call people out on it more and more because I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it.

So this time it involves my boss at Good Samaritan. She left me a voicemail last week and said, "I need your work availability for the next four weeks. I also need to complete your evaluation and I'd like to do that on January 5 at 6pm. Please leave me a message or send me an email about this." So I did... I gave her my availability for the next four weeks (gave her FIVE shifts instead of the required four!) and I explained that I could not be available during the time slot she allotted for the evaluation as I would be working at my other job during that time. (Keep in mind here, I work this job on a per diem basis. She KNOWS that I work another job nearly full time. That is precisely WHY I only work per diem. This is a very common practice in the nursing world. So telling her I'd be working another job at that time is not a bad thing.) I also gave her a pretty good list of other times I would be able to come in this week. Included in those times was the following: "...anytime between 10am and 1pm on 1/7 or 1/8."

So what does she do? She sends me a one-liner that says: "I'd like to complete your evaluation on 1/8 at 9am." WHAT THE HECK???? Oh, and she never did say whether or not I would be utilized for any of the availability I gave her. (Hehehe... perhaps it's because she plans on firing me during the evaluation!) I used to think that she did this stuff out of ignorance or forgetfulness, etc. I no longer believe that. I've had enough run-ins with her over the past few months that I REALLY believe that she is being passive aggressive with me. I've actually alluded to this in the past. So I wrote her back a very short and succinct note that said the following:

Unfortunately, I cannot be there at 9am on that day. My availability on that day would be sometime between 10am and 1pm. My children start school just before 9am and there is no way that I'd be able to drop them off and get to Puyallup by that time. Please let me know if there is another time in that block that you would like me to come in.

Also, please let me know if the work availability I gave you will be utilized so that I know if I am working.

Thank you.

I'm so tired of these games and I'm about a paper-thin space away from just walking away. The further I get into this job, the more comfortable I am with cutting my losses and just walking away from the whole thing. It's interesting because when I attended corporate orientation in the fall, I had a totally different view of the place. The medical director, director of nursing, and CEO showed up at different times. The attitude was completely different. They all were welcoming and kept talking about how they have an open door policy and how they don't believe in retaliation against people who speak up about things. I laugh... because that was obviously on a corporate level. Things on the unit level are FAR different. If I quit (or more likely, if she fires me... I'm not kidding about that)... those higher-ups had better BELIEVE they will be hearing from me. They will hear just exactly why they lost a valuable, experienced employee. It will be their loss, truly. I've worked in the health care industry for the past 20 years and in all of that time, I have NEVER, EVER not gotten along with a manager. Not only that, but all of my previous managers, ALL TWENTY YEARS, have always given me stellar evaluations. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a really good nurse and a hard worker and a loyal employee. This manager has had it out for me from day one.

So we shall see what happens next. As per usual, I don't expect to hear back from her for awhile. She typically leaves me hanging for awhile before responding. I'm tired of her games. I'm not sure why she continues to play them since she is the only one playing. I refuse to participate and bow to that kind of behavior.

Moving right along...

The kids went back to school today. Evan was so unhappy. He begged me to let him stay home "just one more day!" Ethan, on the other hand has been begging for a week to go back! It's so funny. He kept saying, "I wish winter break was over. I just miss my education!" Gotta love it! So we had one happy boy and one sad boy going to school this morning. After I dropped them off my mom and I ran some errands and then came home and had a nice lunch. She is leaving on Thursday and probably won't be back until next summer sometime.

Here's hoping the rest of the week is smooth, especially since Mike is leaving Wednesday. Thank goodness for unlimited phone minutes, text messaging, and the like! What would we do without modern technology? Remember the good old days when you arrived home from vacation weeks before your postcards did? :-)

**Edited to add** Well I'm back to edit this post... it's 5:30pm now and no word from the manager. All I can do is shake my head...

***Edited to add*** Okay... it's been another day. It's now just about the close of business (16:00) and guess what? Surprise, surprise... still no response from my manager! We wait and see what happens now. I suppose she'll get back to me tomorrow or the following day and expect me to drop what I'm doing and come in without much notice. Oh well. What's a girl to do? I discussed all this with the girls in the birth center last night. I'm pretty convinced she is going to terminate my employment. When I say I'm okay with this, I mean it sincerely. So we continue to hurry up and wait... tap... tap... tap... Stay tuned for the next installment!

***Edited to add*** It's now the close of the third business day and surprise, surprise, still no word from Miss Manager. If I don't hear from her this week, I am NOT showing up to the shift I volunteered for on Monday night. We'll see what happens. I fully expect to hear from her at the last minute. That's just how she rolls... Stay tuned for more drama!


  1. Not a pleasant work experience, Christina. Sounds like your manager has an "ego/power" thing going. Too bad. Good employees are lost that way.
    I appreciate your sensitive comments about those sweet babies.

  2. Most definitely an ego/power thing. Frustrating. But I'm playing along anymore. I really don't care if she let's me go because I really don't want to work for her anymore. I just don't feel justified to quit.